Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: Validation and Support for Victims of Abuse

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

“Unlike physical abuse where a single strike or blow often leaves marks or bruises and qualifies an act of domestic violence, narcissistic abuse is invisible. Narcissistic abuse is the sum of many unseen injuries. It’s an indiscernible assault on the spirit, identity, and the psyche of the victim. The impact is cumulative, and its full effect isn’t felt until the damage is extensive. Although bruises and broken bones heal much faster than a broken spirit, narcissistic abuse tends to go unnoticed because there aren’t any laws prohibiting mind games, browbeating, or name calling.” WNAAD

Entangling with a person who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (or a likely combination of pathological disorders including sociopathy and psychopathy) can have a devastating effect on the quality of life for family members, friends, colleagues and intimate partners. Due to the stress of sustained psychological and emotional abuse, victims may develop a condition commonly known as Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome (NAS) or Narcissistic Victim Syndrome (NVS), which is a type of PTSD (basically a severe trauma disorder).

Symptoms include brain fog, pacing, confusion, anxiety, panic attacks, feeling trapped, insomnia, obsessive thoughts, exhaustion, depression, rapid heart rate, digestive issues, headaches, muscle aches and frequent or serious illness as a result of a depleted immune system. At its most extreme, victims of NPD abuse may develop suicidal thoughts or terminal disease.

The most difficult part of the abuse recovery journey will be forgiving yourself for ignoring red flags and putting up with the abuse.

Once you’ve set boundaries, an abuser will do everything in their power to hurt you and to destroy whatever is important to you.

Emotional reactions and absolute control are what abusers are after, so don’t show emotions or give them any information at all.

Do not seek support or validation from anyone who is not a member of the narcissistic abuse survivor community.

The only way out is to cut contact. Do not expect resolution or closure, as abusers are not interested in any of these things.

You will require the services of a qualified therapist who understands the dynamics of narcissism and its debilitating effects, as well as direct access to support from the survivor community (those who have already experienced the abuse).

Debilitating illness and life threatening disease are the hallmarks of long term emotional and psychological abuse. Going forward, you will need to put your physical health before everything else because without it nothing else will matter.

If you’ve ever faced a ‘Go to God‘ moment, this will be it. Faith, spirituality, even a whole new perspective on the individual experience of ‘being’ will be absolutely essential in order to heal, recover and thrive.

THE TRAUMA OF
NARCISSISTIC ABUSE

"Narcissistic abuse survivors are frequently told to “get over it and move on.” This is not only ridiculous and inappropriate, it is also impossible. Abuse victims have suffered from extreme trauma."

Evelyn Ryan

Author, Radio Host, Abuse Recovery & and Personal Power Coach.

Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) is common among people who have lived in high-stress circumstances like narcissistic and other abusive relationships. Some of the symptoms are:

Difficulty in managing emotions – experiencing depression, difficulty controlling anger, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, anxiety
Feelings of helplessness, shame, guilt, feeling detached from other humans, and/or feeling like everything is your fault.
Feeling like you have no control over your life, the abuser has complete power over you, the abuser always “wins”, nothing will ever change
Hopelessness about the future, feeling like people will never change, feeling like circumstances will never change.
Repression of memories, flashbacks, or feeling dissociated from the experiences.
Isolating yourself, not trusting other people.

THE ROAD TO RECOVERY

If what you have been trying to do to get well hasn’t been working, then you must open yourself to the possibility of another way.

"If you are in the terrible trauma of narcissistic abuse, no matter what it is that you are feeling, have lost or how old you are...know more than anything that there is a way out of the pain, and not just into mere survival of what you have been through – but truly a transcendence..."

Melanie Tonia Evans Author, Lecturer & Specialist Counselor on Narcissistic Abuse Recovery & Self Empowerment

Victims of narcissistic abuse tend to spend an extraordinary amount of time reading books and watching videos in an effort to wrap their heads around the twisted minds of psychological abusers. This is a crucial part of the healing process, as you will simply not be able to comprehend what is happening until you educate yourself thoroughly on the darker elements of human psychology.

The amount of time it takes for a victim to gain the understanding they need to achieve clarity will vary from person to person, but the process helps to validate that what they experienced was real and to confirm that they aren’t crazy.

THE HOLY GRAIL OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY

"If you have been the target of a severe narcissist, severing ties may be necessary. Others may never understand why you had to make this choice. Without exposure, a capacity for insight, concern and curiosity, they cannot perceive the destructiveness. It may make you feel alone, but so be it. Do what you have to do."

Carrie Baron, M.D. Psychiatrist/Psychoanalyst, Award-winning Academic & Author

"Some people will pretend to care just so they can get a better seat to watch you struggle. Every helping hand isn't always there to help."

Trent Shelton Former Professional Football Player, Motivational Speaker & Founder of RehabTime

“The separation from members of your family needn’t always be because they are narcissists. Sometimes a narcissistic ex-partner will be so persuasive and calculating that your own family will blame you for the breakdown of a relationship. It might even be the case that your ex and your family still have contact with each other, and that to remove one from your life, you must, reluctantly, say goodbye to the other too. Whatever the reasons are, cutting ties with members of your family will be a serious challenge.” A Conscious Rethink, The RollerCoaster Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse

SUNSHINE

A weekly dose of vitamin D from the sun is crucial for good health, relieves body pain and helps to increase energy levels.

WATER

Try to drink at least 64 fl oz daily (4 of the 16 fl. oz bottles). You should take the first 16 – 32 fl. oz directly upon wakeup.

DIET

A strict whole food, plant-based diet can help speed recovery; approach food with the mindset of an athlete.

EXERCISE

Besides being the ultimate youth serum, making physical fitness a priority will make you look and feel your best.

REST

If you need to take a sleep aid, do it; it’s especially crucial now that both body and mind get a solid nightly rest.

AIR

Inhaling fresh air in nature makes you happier, strengthens your immune system, gives you energy and results in a sharper mind.

“Our strategy should be not only to confront empire, but to lay siege to it. To deprive it of oxygen. To shame it. To mock it. With our art, our music, our literature, our stubbornness, our joy, our brilliance, our sheer relentlessness – and our ability to tell our own stories. Stories that are different from the ones we’re being brainwashed to believe."